The adventures of little Kidd

2006-08-18T16:09:00.000+01:00

Sleeping off the heat

Things have been fairly quiet, over the last few weeks, here at club Kidd. The heat has been unbearable at times, and although neither cat has really struggled, as much as us humans have, they have opted for a much lazier pursuits.

That doesn’t mean, however, that life here has been mischief free. Kyla, for example, was horrified when she was shut out of her favourite spider hunting ground. So, in order to prevent such reoccurrences, decided to block the doorway with one of her toys. Kidd, who had temporarily lost his favourite toy, laid claim to the new feather effort brought from a cat show. Being the alpha male, anything that belongs to Kyla belongs to the both. And anything that belongs to Kidd is his alone. Therefore anytime Kyla goes any where near the thing, the red wonder, appears from no where and snatches it off her, before marching indignantly away with it firmly in his mouth. Leaving poor Kyla wondering what the hell his problem is.

Mind you she has also learnt to get her own back, by sitting, rather proudly, on the top video shelf above the TV. Kidd still can’t jump that high, so is forced to sit and watch her while she struts about tormenting the hell out of him.

Kidd has also reached his first milestone. The 12^th August was his first birthday, so my baby boy is no longer a kitten, but a full-grown monster. He has decided that now he is all grown up, he needs to conserve his energy and is insisting on being carried around. It was so not a good idea to teach him to jump. I now have eight impressive scratch marks that go straight down my back, where the little darling jumped because I was trying to cook dinner and had put him down five times already. He of course was having none of it a leapt while my back was turned. Two guests to our home, neither of them cat people, now bear Kidd marks where he decided to introduce himself. Well if they will ignore him, what do they expect.

2006-07-18T09:45:00.000+01:00

In Loving Memory Boleyn.

My beautiful Princes, with a soul too gentle for this world. We miss you MoBo.

2006-07-07T19:15:00.000+01:00

Damage control

Firstly I would like to congratulate both Mum and our breeder Kat, but most importantly Kyla herself. Who, as of last Saturday, became Grand Premier Schimmel Chilli Tequila.

And secondly I would like to apologise to Kidd, who is furious with me for announcing that he was being good. He says that I have ruined his reputation and he may never be able to hold his head high in Oriental society again. Much less ever face his Schimmel brethren. He has therefore been on damage control for the last week.

Nothing has been safe from his aggrieved paws. If it moves when you pat it, it’s fair game. This includes pens, tweezers, credit cards, even a packet of chewing gum. All have come crashing off the edge of units. For no other reason than they were just there and he felt like it.

The most dramatic item to take a tumble from it’s place of rest, was Mum’s hearing aid. And it’s not just a run of the mill NHS thing either. But a rather expensive, digital type gizmo. She’d taken it out to make a phone call and had left it on the bed. Alone in the house, she didn’t notice at first that it was missing. By the time she’s started to realise something was wrong, the phantom paws had struck. It took three of us to find it, pulling half the bedroom apart in the process. To be fair to Kidd, the evidence against him is only circumstantial. Ok he has developed a strange fascination with the small device. Yes he rarely misses an opportunity to play with them, if they are left lying around unguarded. But no one saw him near them the day they went missing. And the fact that he went looking for it the following day, in the exact same place that it was found, is a complete coincidence.

Kyla, not to be out done, followed this behaviour up with a trick of her own. From the moment she arrived Kyla has appointed herself our toilet monitor. She insists on following anyone and everyone into the bathroom, no matter what their purpose. She regards her self appointed role very seriously and is enraged if anyone has the audacity to lock her out. Those of us who have to live with her have given in to inevitable and allow her to join us.

The other morning, while I was getting ready for the day, Kyla was sat on the window sill, tapping the window. I don’t know why she does it, but she does it almost daily. It keeps her amused and on the whole out of trouble, so I let her get on with it.

I was sat, contemplating the meaning of life, Kyla happily patting away. When suddenly there was a crash and a brown tortie, her claws attached to the net curtain, came swinging out over the sink, kicked off from the wall above the cistern. And landed rather clumsily into the litter tray, before streaking out of the door. Anything that had been on the window sill was strewn across the bathroom. Kyla said she was far to embarrassed to talk about what had happened, but if I could kindly tidy up the mess and never mention it again, she would be very grateful. Ops!

2006-06-28T16:54:00.000+01:00

Cuddly Monster.

Firstly I would like to apologise for my lack of entries over the last week. The reason for this is quiet simple. Kidd has decided to turn over a new leaf. Maybe Kyla’s latest escapade has intimidated him. Or maybe it’s just too hot to be naughty. Who knows? Whatever the reason my little red monster has turned into the most obedient, cuddle monster you could wish to meet.

He has learnt a few new tricks, the most impressive of which is coming when he is called. No matter where he is in the house, the minute you call his name he comes running. Arriving at my feet, purring his head off, waiting for me to pick him up and make a fuss of him.

Because he has a reputation as a bit of a bully boy, Kyla gets fed her favourite fishy treats, every night, on her own. Just Mummy and her. Kyla is now so used to this nightly ritual that she will insist, or more correctly demand, that Mummy should go to bed so that Miss Woo can have her treats now! She jumps up onto the chair, gets right into her Mums face and literally shout NOW! At the top of her voice. Kidd will follow on the off chance that Nanny will not know that he is there. Or may be so bowled over by his hansom charms that she will give in, and maybe he will be able to get his paws on some dehydrated fishy goodness. Not that it has ever worked but you can’t blame a kitten for trying.

The other night we were all amazed and impressed when after having gone trotting into the bedroom and sitting hopefully on the bed. He obediently came running the moment I called him. Mind you both Kidd and I do have a confession to make, and Kidd’s obedients is not quiet so impressive when you find out that I know where the treats are kept. Therefore when Kyla is enjoying her personal time with her Mummy, The boy is enjoying some sneaked treats of his own. And as every cat knows, stolen goodies are so much better than anything handed to you on a plate.

His other new trick is he has finally learnt to jump. Bless him he still hasn’t developed the physical prowess of his aunty Kyla, but he can at least now reach arm height. All we need to do know is to teach him to wait for permission before launching. My back bears the scars of many an unannounced landing by his kitenship. And only the other night the poor chap got knocked across the room as I swung my arm out, unaware at the time that there was a red flying feline coming my way. Unfortunately both arm and kitten collided. Thankfully apart from his pride he survived the accident unscathed.

2006-06-13T23:17:00.000+01:00

Role change.

Kyla in her kitten days, was as naughty as she was cute. And trust me she was very cute. However as she has grown from baby sweet to lady beautiful, her naughty days have decreased.

Although thinking about it I don’t think that is necessarily true. When she was a kitten she had a best Siamese friend called Boleyn. Bo was a totally stunning blue tortie whose only flaw was she knew just how stunning she was. But unlike most torties, she was also very well behaved. O she had her moments but most of the time she was an obedient, loving, beautiful, princess. Kyla therefore in comparison was a naughty mischievous tomboy. When Bo died Kyla quickly slipped into the spoilt child role and entertained us for hours. Then of course we got Kidd. Nothing in the world could have prepared us for the red devil. And now alas Kyla has either chosen to be the more staid grown up one, or has simply been out naughtied by our Master of Mayhem.

However, and isn’t there always a however?. The other morning she decided to out do herself. Things started off well. The litter tray having finally been removed from the room, saves this story from starting off in the usual smelly fashion. And after a well ignored game of human target practice, both cats and I had enjoyed a nice morning snuggle. But when I got up, so did Kyla and she had been doing more than just snoozing the morning away. Apparently she had been hatching a cunning plan to command my whole attention, for at least most of the day.

The first port of call was of course the bathroom. I set about my morning routine; she started on destroying most of the bathroom. Her first aim was the windowsill. Now I know she can leap from floor to window in one bound, but on that day she chose to go the most complicated and clumsiest way she could. Namely over me, across the back of the cistern, across the sink and then up onto the windowsill. Naturally everything in her path was knocked to the floor, and the more things she could throw into the litter tray (yes we have one in the bathroom too) the better. Including the bar of soap, which was then covered in gravel! She then starts on the only thing that she hasn’t knocked over, the toothbrush stand. Thankfully it was not my brush that she decided to have a chew on. I’m not going to say who’s it was, but they may find it has a slight taste of fishy treats next time they use it!

Washing done, I then decided to check my emails etcetera. Still not finished Kyla came bouncing into the room, made a beeline for the computer, bounced of mid login (hence turning it off) and landed on the top of the cat tower looking rather smug. The cheeky cow then watched as I tried to log back in, and then descended from the tower onto the keyboard, yet again turning the thing off, before disappearing to the safety of another room.

The next time I caught a brown tortie streak heading in my general direction I was ready for her. However she had a new evil plan brewing, and ran straight past me and straight up the brand new curtains. Where she hung for a few seconds, until I shouted at her to come down. At which point she shouted at me back and calmly abseiled down.

The whole time Kidd was sat in my arms, watching Kyla with a look of complete awe and total admiration.

2006-06-04T22:56:00.000+01:00

Dumping fiction

I was on a later shift today and was really looking forward to a nice lay in. Stupid really I should have known there is no such thing for an Ori slave.

At 5am a certain red dropped his favourite toy in my hand and continued to pat both toy and hand hopefully. There is no point what so ever throwing the thing off the bed, as Kidd believes it is all part of the fun and just brings it back. So as I was not in any type of mood to play with him, heartless mummy that I am. I just tried to ignore him. When he got no response out of me he decided to goad Kyla into a game of chase.

I swear those two have made some kind of game board out of my duvet. They score points for every imaginary circle they can bounce on. It’s like sleeping, or trying to, in the middle of a feline target practice. Of course extra points are added for landing on a human.

I must have gone back to sleep as I was suddenly aware it had all gone quiet, so I opened my eyes and carefully looked around for them (you don’t ever want to admit that you actually awake, because that means it’s time for breakfast, no matter how early it is!) There they were looking like butter wouldn’t melt both curled up on my pillows fast asleep. Relieved I settled back down for some peaceful shuteye myself.

And then there was a thud. I have no idea how long I’d been asleep or where our two monsters were, as they had long gone by they time I opened my bleary eyes. But sat in the litter tray was the hardback book I'm currently reading, half the contents of the tray on the floor and the bookmark across the other side of the room. Thankfully the litter was clean this time! Which is why I decided to leave it there and return to my slumber.

You can imagine my horror when some time later I was woken again to the sound of litter digging. When I jumped up I discovered Kidd in the tray, still not used, trying to cover up the book with what little litter was remaining. Goodness only knows what he thought it was. Probably the biggest turd he’d ever seen! More to the point, who did he think had left it there? Certainly Kyla and his bottoms are far to dainty to produce such a weighty piece of fiction. And it certainly wasn’t me. Maybe a lion crept in and dumped in they’re tray before rudely leaving without covering up his masterpiece.

2006-05-30T22:46:00.000+01:00

Jumping Jack, not so, flash

Kyla has been a jumper since the day she got here. She very quickly discovered that if she ran up your back she could then ride around on your shoulders. As she has grown up she has become more and skilled at shoulder riding and it is now possible to complete any daily tasks with her draped around the back of your neck.

It does have it’s draw backs however as she very rarely waits for permission before launching herself. A cat landing on you when you least expect it can be quite a shock. She may be small but she is all muscle, and when she launches herself unexpectedly like that she nearly knocks me flying, especially when you have your hands full at the time.

Kidd has been watching his aunty Kyla and has tried to copy her. But doesn’t quiet have her finesse. The problem is two fold. Firstly he has either not learned or is too lazy, to pull himself up once he has landed on his victim. And were Kyla can leap from floor to shoulder in one elegant move, Kidd can only manage to reach stomach height, were he just kind of half heartedly hangs until you grab hold of him. Again most of the time that is not a problem, and having had a flying tortie smack me square on the side of the head a number of times, I actually prefer it. It’s when he decides to land on my back that the fun starts. The very fact that I have back to him means that I don’t see him coming until he lands. And trying to grab hold of him is quite difficult. The best way is to put your hand behind your back. Where he happily sits for hours riding around the house, peaking over my right shoulder, until either I need my hand back or it goes to sleep. I’ve tried to swing him around to the front. But he just clings on. I also tried just leaving him hanging but he just looks feeble and totally dejected when he finally falls off.

But I really shouldn’t complain. Can you imagine the fun of having two jumpers and shoulder riders in the house? As it is Kidd will nip Kyla’s ankles if he is in my arms and she is on my shoulders. I really don’t want two fully grown cats fighting it out either side of my head!

2006-05-23T17:25:00.000+01:00

Cyber Kitty

My cat is a computer geek. Or to be more precise he is a computer thug. It’s not that he spends hours pawing over Pc manuals and computer codes, rather that he prefers landing on my laptop at great speed sending it off on some crazy task. Both him and his playmate, the delectable Miss Woo (otherwise known and Kyla) appear to have lost a file at some point, as they are constantly starting searches for ‘hkhlkk;lllllllllllllllan’ or other such named documents. Last night Kyla even decided she needed to send an urgent email. There was I browsing the web, when she comes running into the room and jumps onto my laptop, at which point Outlook pops up. She looked thoughtfully for a minute at the screen, got distracted by a fly and ran off. I’m not sure whether I need to be proud or worried that she can do that!

Kidd is a lot more technically advanced, although he does have a habit of typing in cat Oriental. Sadly it is a language I find hard to read, spoken is a lot easier. The other evening he did type his first English word however. It was ‘use’ he was so proud of his achievement he saved the letter but sadly the title was back in Oriental again. He is also very good at redirecting web pages. When he was a kitten he was forever changing the page I was reading to his breeders site. Personally I think she trained him. He certainly picked up a few more skills than your average kitten.

His favourite thing to do is to sit on the hibernating button, especially if he requires some attention. It’s very annoying but not as annoying as when he stamps on the keyboard as I restart the thing and he sends it off to some rebooting screen. I swear one day I’m going to come home early to find him sat on the computer, glasses perched on the end of his nose, reconfiguring the whole thing. I’ll be more confused by it than I am already and the whole thing will be in cat Oriental.

2006-05-16T19:49:00.000+01:00

Being un-naughty.

There are two ways in which to be ‘good’. There is the more conventional and boring way of being well behaved and obedient (otherwise known as being a goody two shoes). Or there is the lot more fun and easier ‘being Un-Naughty’

The advantage of being ‘Un-Naughty’ is the rewards are higher. Very often your goody two shoes is ignored. Once good behaviour is the norm, were else is there to go for praise. But after a long period of general mayhem and mischief, a small stint of not being naughty is highly rewarded. And the beauty of it all is you don’t have to do a thing. In fact the very act of ‘not being naughty’ requires you to do nothing at all. Except of course be cute and adorable. It is quite frankly genius.

The other morning is a prime example. Of course before you can be un-naughty you have to be naughty first. So the morning started off by a certain young lady using the litter tray in the bedroom. Ok so that is not naughty but it was the catalyst for a series of events that lead to the naughtiness.

The smell was so bad that a sleeping spider groggily appeared from its hiding place for some fresh air. Of course both cats spotted it within minutes. As I believe I have mentioned on numerous occasions Kidd is not the most delicate of hunters, and proceeded to pounce around the room like a loon. In his exuberance he some how, and don’t ask me how as I was desperately trying to ignore him at the time, managed to up end the litter tray. Litter new and used went everywhere. Suddenly he had my complete attention. You can imagine my horror when after studying his handy work for a second he decided that one of the older nuggets looked like a very good toy and began to pat it around the room. So yet again at 5 O’clock in the morning I was in my Pj’s sorting out litter trays. Naturally the little red monster insisted on playing with the broom as I tried to clear up his mess threw sleepy eyes.

When all was cleared I tried to go back to bed. Unfortunately by now Kidd was wide awake and ready to play, which he did with anything and everything that moved. He batted the swizzle stick on the blinds about for a good half an hour. He attacked my feet, until he decided to go in for the kill and got a kick for his troubles. At which point he decided to annoy Kyla. It is amazing how two relatively small, svelte Orientals can sound like a herd of elephants rampaging threw your house. But that exactly what they sound like. And can someone please tell my why it is necessary to bounce off your sleeping human in an effort to reach the window, which I’m guessing must be ‘home’ when you’re playing chase. Eventually the lure of fishy treats called Kyla away, but Kidd was not yet done.

All was quiet and in my naivety I believed that I could possibly steal a few more minutes rest, until that was a red rosette landed on my face. Opening my eyes there was Kidd proudly sitting by his prize. Weather he had realised that he had pushed things to far that morning and felt the need to remind me how wonderful he was, or he simply decided that it looked like something else he could play with I don’t know. He did however get the cuddle he wanted and spent the rest of the day being the model of good behaviour. Which of course he was rewarded for with his favourite raw chicken wings.

2006-05-10T22:11:00.000+01:00

Waiting for me.

Working on a late shift, I returned home in the wee small hours last night. And sat at the window was Miss Kyla Woo, watching and waiting while she listened to a chat show on Radio 2. No idea what it was all about. But there she was all-alone listening and watching.

By the time I had parked the car and walked around the side of the house, she was at the front door waiting for me. We go threw the same routine everyday, no matter what time. Both cats will stand right behind the door, peaking around it to snatch a glimpse of the world we call outside. You have to slowly push the door open, simultaneously nudging them backwards whilst body blocking any sudden dash for fresh air.

We said our normal hello’s and I sat down to talk to Mum, who had kindly waited up, for a ‘how was your night’ chat. Kyla and Kidd thought that was this was the perfect opportunity to put on one of their floorshows.

They started off with a gentle game of chase. I say gentle but what I really mean is hurtling threw the flat at breakneck speed, bouncing off as many bits of furniture as possible. Kyla is much more agile than Kidd and has a habit of suddenly changing direction or leaping onto something thus completing confusing Kidd, who goes skidding past. She also has a hand break turn that a boy racer would be proud of. Not easy when you consider, apart from one room, the whole flat is laminate flooring.

Her latest parlour trick is to dive headfirst into their new play tunnel and surf the length of the lounge. Where she will wait for a poor unsuspecting, red kitten to walk past before pouncing on him and starting the chase all over again. Although Kidd did manage to completely throw her at one point, by doing one amazing body slide into the still moving tunnel. I don’t think it was intentional but it was rather spectacular!

Then came the piece de resistance of the whole routine. Kidd is now playing with his leather stick on the other end of the sofa. He was so engrossed in his game that he did not see Kyla preparing to pounce. Nor did he notice as her slender body glided threw the air towards him. In fact it is pretty safe to say that he didn’t have a Scooby what was about to happen until she landed, quite elegantly, just inches from his face. It was at this point that he leaped upwards and backwards, completely clearing the armrest, and disappeared, Wile E. Coyote style, out of view. A rather embarrassed kitten emerged a minute latter. None to pleased at our roars of laughter. Kyla just looked at her handy work with a very smug ‘That was so worth the wait’ look on her face.

2006-05-05T17:23:00.000+01:00

Show day

So I guess it is really about time I told you all about the show on Saturday. It’s been a very busy week this week, being back to work and all. Hence the lack of entries. Sorry!

Last Saturday was the Bedford show in Cambridgeshire. It was Kidd’s last show as a kitten. Which basically means we were just going for the experience, as a win doesn’t really count for much at this point.

The journey up there was going fine. Both Kidd and Kyla (who was going to try and get her first Grand Premier certificate) like to sing in the car. To be honest Kidd doesn’t really travel well, although he gets better with ever journey. The first show we ever took him to, he screamed all the way there. I swear I have never seen a cat looking green before but the poor chap was definitely looking slightly seasick.

Anyways the trip was all going as planned. The navigator was actually staying awake for a change. And then we take the turning off the motorway, and it all goes horribly wrong. As we turn off we are faced with the unexpected choice of picking the westbound or eastbound road. The navigator doesn’t know and I’m forced to pick one only be told once it’s too late that it’s the wrong one. What then follows is one hell of a row and driving around in one huge circle for forty-five minutes. When we finally get back to were we started we discover that I did actually take the right route in the first place and we should have just kept going instead of pulling off.

After a bit of, please Mum don’t look at the speedometer, driving we actually manage make the show just in time. And even better for us the queue for vetting in is huge and we quickly find a friend half way up the line who lets us jump in. The argument firmly behind us we concentrate on getting the cat’s in their pens and settled before leaving the hall for judging.

Now the fun starts. Showing always sounds like a very good idea until you get to this part. And then quite frankly it becomes the stupidest hobby ever invented. You patiently, or not so patiently in some cases, wait for some complete stranger to judge your pride and joy and then tell you if they think they are beautiful or not. Unfortunately in this case the judge said Kidd was not. To be fair it was the first time he had been beaten in an Open class, and I do not really expect everyone to agree with me that he is the best most, hansom red ori in the entire world.

Besides any disappointment was quickly dispelled by the news that Kyla and won her first Grand Premier certificate. For some reason our girl has really had to fight for this. Everyone who has ever met her has totally fallen in love with her, except for the judges. But now someone has finally seen what we see and said she is worthy of the title.

When the open judging is over, us owners are allowed back into the hall. By this point I just wanted to get back and check that Kidd was all right, which of course he was. I gave him a big hug and told him he was still the best in my eyes and that was really all that mattered. I brought him a toy suede mouse, which he happily played with before falling to sleep. He really does handle shows so well and takes after his aunty Kyla who just sits back and enjoys all the attention.

After the Open come the side classes. Again these don’t count for anything but it is a good way to see what other judges think and maybe collect a few more rosettes. Again ‘not’ in Kidd’s case. Unfortunately, as he had done so well in other shows there were only three classes I could enter him into. Two off which were the same judge as his open. She really didn’t like him and didn’t give him any rosettes at all. The third class, although a different judge was huge.

Kyla did extremely well and her pen was covered in rosettes. Again this made the whole day worth it. And I wouldn’t have missed that for the world.

Both cats slept on the way home, and I must admit so did I. Although I hasten to add I wasn’t driving. Once home Kidd was rewarded with a raw chicken drumstick and Kyla celebrated with her favourite fishy treats. And we went out for a celebration of our own.

All in all it was a good day, with some wins and some losses. Not to mention a good chance to spend the day with friends talking about our favourite subject. But most importantly, what ever the judge said, I still got to come home with the best red ori in show.

2006-04-30T22:31:00.000+01:00

Cat Toys

Our house is full of cat toys. Kidd has three main favourites. The first is a plastic stick with five coloured leather strips at the end. The second is not actually at toy, but Kidd has claimed it has his own. It’s a cover from a pet heat pad. He loves to throw it around and carry it around the house in his mouth. And the third is a play tunnel and since it is only a couple of days old, it may be a little early to actually call it a favourite.

The leather stick is actually the first toy I actually used to play with Kidd. He was still a baby at his breeder’s house then. My sister and I had gone around for a visit and it was a toy that had been left behind when she had boarded her boys there some weeks before. Kidd and I played for at least two hours and he never tired. He still doesn’t! Now he has progressed to playing fetch with it. He will appear, always at the most inconvenient moment, with it in his mouth. You are then expected to move it around so that he can play chase. If you can then throw the thing from the lounge down the hall, all the better. Although that is not always easy because if you are not quick enough he will be hanging onto the end of it. He will then go chasing after it, jumping over the play tunnel, to retrieve it. On his way back, no matter where the tunnel is, he has to go threw it. I have no idea why this important, but it is. He has yet to play with the tunnel at any other time, expect when retrieving his toy.

Unfortunately brains seem to only be passed down on the female side of the family. Because Kidd has not worked out that what makes the stick move is human hands. Some times when he brings the thing back he will place not on my lap or next to where I’m sitting, so that I can reach. But instead he will place it at the other end of the sofa well out of arms reach. He will then sit next to me facing the stick and sit and watch it for ages, expecting it to move. I have to admit he is very patient if somewhat dim!

2006-04-27T18:25:00.000+01:00

Indoor Hunting

The life of a suburban indoor hunter can be a boring one, especially in the winter months. But now that spring is finally upon us things are finally picking up for our wannabe tigers.

Last night the prey in question was a moth. Things started off smoothly. Kyla, our spider killer extraordinaire was the first to spot it. Of course once she was interested Kidd just had find out what all the fuss was about. That boy does not like to be left out of anything! However what Kyla does with athletic grace and poise, Kidd does with brute force and galumphing elephant paws.

First of all we tried sitting on top of the TV stretching up the wall. ‘What is so bad about that?’ you ask. Well we have painted walls, and when you run your claws down them you have a high-pitched version of nails on a chalkboard. Which apparently is quite a nice sound to a cat.

Then we thought we would try chasing it. I tell you the fun you can have chasing around a flat after a flying monster is amazing. I have pointed out to Kidd that it was only a small moth, but he is insistent that he has seen pictures and it was defiantly a large dragon of some kind.

Any way as the ‘dragon’ fluttered around the flat, Kyla stalked while Kidd just crashed around a lot. Our humble abode is so much tidier since his arrival. Leave something lying around on a unit and it soon goes crashing to the ground as he goes skidding along the worktop.

Eventually the moth, I mean dragon, decided to take refuge in the hall. Our brave warriors following to defeat their worthy foe. All was quiet until we heard an almighty crash. I got up to see what they hell was going on, only to be nearly bowled over by a streak of brown tortie fur as it came careering into the lounge. In the hall there was no sign of anything being knocked over and more importantly no sign of Kidd. We checked every room but everything was as it should be minus our dragon slayer. As funny as it might be now, I was actually getting worried. I couldn’t find the cause of the bang and couldn’t find Kidd. What if he was hurt? Apart from being frightened we knew that Kyla was all right. She was hiding under the sofa telling us she wasn’t coming out until we could prove to her all was safe.

After a couple of minutes Kidd did finally appear, tail like a fox, covered in dust and obviously spooked, but otherwise ok. We never did find out what the bang was and to be honest with you we were much more worried about the cats.

However the story doesn’t end there. And yes I know what I am about to tell you is completely insane and rather embarrassing for me but still I go on. While I was getting ready for bed, cleaning all the litter trays and making sure water bowls and food bowls are filled. I discover our dragon slayers back sitting in the hall, willing said moth to fly down lower within their reach. Kyla quickly realises that I am in fact just about the right height and if I pick her up she can deliver the final deathblow. So like an idiot I oblige and she takes a swipe and misses. What then follows is five minutes of me running through the hall with Kyla in my arms, her taking pot shots at the moth, sorry dragon and Kidd following along, shouting ‘Pick me up. Pick me up. I’ll kill it, I’ll kill it.’

Some of you will be glad to hear that we never did catch the beast. It flew away to I don’t know where and the three of us decided we were too tired to care any more and went to bed.

Snuggled up for the night with my two favourite Orientals I begin to understand why they think I am just part of their group. And I feel strangely honoured to be accepted as one of their own.

2006-04-25T17:12:00.000+01:00

Kidd has an evil twin
I’ve called him Child

The other night I was enjoying a dinner of grilled chicken. Kidd as always was happily sniffing my plate from the safety of the armrest. Now being the picky fart that I am, I was leaving the skin of the chicken and leaving it on the side of the plate. This is the point that Child turns up (It has to have been Child because Kidd could never be this naughty!) Child then decides to try patting the food on my plate. He is removed from temptation, and I attempt to continue with my meal. I will point out at this point that I do not hassle him in the same manor whilst he is eating. I leave him to enjoy his feast, never once attempting to pat it or sniff it or generally make a nuisance of myself until he gives up and lets me finish it off for him. I have pointed out to him that I would like to be treated with the same respect I give him, but it appears to be falling on rather large deaf ears.

Child then reappears with re-enforcements, namely Kyla, and they start a two-sided plan of attack. While I am distracted by Miss Wo, Child comes in for the steal and grabs a piece of chicken. Although they may have worked as a team the red monster has no concept of the word share, and begins to growl at anyone who goes near him. Stupidly I put my hand down to try and take it off him but he smacks his paw down on top of my hand and glares at me with a ‘make another move and you die’ stare. Even Kyla has now slinked off. I pick him up, stolen chicken still in mouth, and remove him from the room.

When the meal is over, I clear the plates and while Child is otherwise distracted I give Kyla some of the leftovers. Child of course appears and tries to steal the food from her mouth. When she runs off he follows her, growling all the time, attempting to intimidate her into dropping her prize. Once again he is removed from the room.

When all food has gone Kidd comes back into the room. He sits on my lap and cuddles up as if nothing has happened. He has no recollection of chicken and looks completely blank when I mention his bad behaviour. He looks up at me with big green innocent eyes and claims he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. He has been asleep in his chave bag the whole time. It wasn’t me he says. It was Child my evil twin!

2006-04-16T12:32:00.000+01:00

Mischief and Mayhem

Although this time it was not Kidd that was causing the trouble, but our very own reformed pee-queen.
In the old days when any bed was free game, Kyla was locked out of Mum and Dad’s room until the morning, when she would be let in for some ‘Kyla time’ and given her favourite fishy treats. Now of course she is a born again pee-er and all doors are left open. However this is causing a whole new set of problems. Namely that she knows that her Mummy is a push over, and after enough coaxing will give her exactly what she wants.
Yesterday morning around 3am Kyla developed the munchies, so went in such of the holder of the treat jar, who rather inconveniently was sleeping. Being the well brought up cat that she is, she quietly sat on the bed and then gave Mum a quick smack on the cheek until she woke up. Then, so that there was no doubt what she was after, she nuzzled the draw were the treats are kept. Of course she was given exactly what she asked for and once satisfied trotted back to bed. Three hours later however she felt like another little smackerel. So of she went once again to the sleeping treat giver to ask for some more. This time however things didn’t go quite so smoothly. She pats Mum on the cheek but she ignored her. So Kyla has to step things up. She tries pawing her hand, but nothing. She gives her a head-but, or six, still nothing. So she sits on Mum’s chest and continues to smack her around the face until the message that she requires attention gets threw.
Now while Kyla may be very good at creating the Mischief. No one causes Mayhem quite like our Kidd. And Growing up with four brothers has taught him a thing or two. So when food and treats are involved he is the king.
The very second you contemplate dishing out food, he will arrive out of nowhere He will then proceed to put on his best, ‘butter wouldn’t melt’ performance. But once the goodies hit the floor he turns into the cat from hell. He employees a three-pronged attack, of block, defend and Hoover. The blocking effect requires you to literally stand over the food and eat backwards. If someone tries to eat under you, you just lye down. If they try and eat either side, you move your body toward them. The whole time you growl, so that even if no one is even near you, they know that it’s yours. Of course if anyone is actually stupid enough to take the food in front you. You use your paw to hold them down while you continue to shovel as much in your mouth as possible. It’s not about enjoying what you eat; it’s about eating as much as you can.
Now this means you have two choices when giving Kyla treats in the wee small hours. You either give them two separate piles. But you end up giving him more because he eats quicker than she does, which doesn’t really teach him not be such a greedy bee-stared. Or you shut him out. Which of course means he sits outside the door and screams till everyone is awake including the neighbours! Who then ring the RSPCA because they think you’re are trying kill in him. And his mind you probably are.

2006-04-13T23:09:00.000+01:00

Life with Kidd is not for the faint hearted.

This morning, I have no idea what time it was, it was dark! Something woke me up, again no idea what! My first thought upon opening my eyes was ‘were is Kidd?’ I quickly discovered him stretched out under the duvet, but he didn’t seem to be breathing! Ok I thought don’t panic just yet. I placed my hand on his stomach fully expecting to feel it move up and down with his breathing, but nothing. Now I am really beginning to freak. I have no idea if cats suffer from sudden infant death syndrome, and at this moment in time I really don’t wish to find out. My heart in my mouth I give him a gentle shake, and he slowly stretches out one paw and yawns. Of course now he is awake and wants a cuddle. So there we are in the dark, Kidd trying to yawn and purr at the same time. And me trying to get him to go back to sleep, whilst trying to decided if I want to kill him for scaring me to death, or give him the attention he wants for still being alive. Eventually I fall back asleep, a smile on my face and Kidd purring in my ear.
And then the smell arrives. Someone, and I honestly don’t know whom it was, although on past experiences I can guess, has decided they need a poo and the bedroom tray is the one to do it in. Now for any of you thinking ‘what a stupid place to put a litter tray’ I fully agree. With hindsight I can say that it has to be the single most lame brain idea I have ever had! But it’s there now and I’d rather they use that than the bed.
Of course the cat in question is long gone by the time the smell reaches my nostrils. And as I trudge bleary eyed, litter tray in hand, to the litter locker (a cat owners version of a nappy bin) I’m left with my third thought of the day ‘when the hell did they eat cabbage?’
I go back to bed and manage to get some sleep before the alarm goes off. Kidd, as usual spends the next hour trying to stop me from getting ready for work. I’ve tried explaining to him that I need to go out and ‘hunt’ so that he can have food and toys extra, but he doesn’t appear to be buying it.
Having retrieved my sock, that he has just run off with for the second time. I am finally ready to leave, and I’m actually running on time for a change! Now all I have to do is find my driving glasses. I rack my brains trying to remember were I had them last. I’m sure it was in my room, if I remember rightly I was watching TV, so they must be on the windowsill above the bed. But when I look they’re not there. I check the lounge but still can’t find them. Maybe just maybe I actually put them in they’re case, which is in my bag. Big fat No. I start to turn the house up side down. I look in all the normal places but still can’t find them. By now it is getting really late and I start to consider the implications of driving with out them, but decide that is just out of the question. I go back to the bedroom and pull out the bed, I check under the pillows and behind all the cushions. And that is where I find them. No doubt where a certain pair of little red paws put them when he was playing pat the glasses. Finally I leave the house at the exact time I am supposed to be arriving at work!

2006-04-11T23:28:00.000+01:00

Litter Revolution

When I started this blog I had all these great ideas about posting cartoons and photos extra. So far I haven’t managed any of that. It’s not that I don’t have the time, it’s more the fact that I procrastinate something chronic. Who was it that said why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? I have a friend that manages to fit so much into just one day and I am left wondering how she does it. I’d get off my arse and do something about it, but I just can’t be bothered. I’ll do it tomorrow!

But you don’t want to hear about me do you. You want to know how the ever-increasingly hansom Kidd is doing. Very well is the answer.

We’ve had something of a revolution in this house. (Hell I don’t know if that is even the right word. But I guess some one will tell me if it isn’t.) For some time now we have had a persistent pee-er in our house and it wasn’t one of the humans! The problem has been getting progressively worse to that extent that no bed or abandoned clothing was safe. Now it wasn’t the fact that we didn’t have enough litter trays in the house.

We have two cats and four trays, so more than enough to go around. They are also cleaned out on a regular basis, at least three times a day if not more when I am around.
As a result of this problem all bedrooms were closed off during the day and all clothing put out of harms way. The real problem came at night. I have always shared my bed with the resident cat/s. As a busy workingwoman sharing her life with demanding affectionate Orientals and or Siamese, I want to spend as much time with them as possible giving them all the attention that they need and deserve. Not have to come home form work spend a few hours with them and then disappear off to bed. But with little miss pee pee that was becoming a huge problem. Either they were both shut out and I got a good nights sleep, but Kidd became very clingy. Or I shut her out and shut him in with me, but then got woken up when ever he wanted to be let out. The other option was to let them both in and risk being woken in the middle of the night with a wet bed!!!!
Any way to cut a very long storey short. At a visit to a cat show at the weekend, my mother was talking to the lady on the R & L Pet Products stall. She explained to the woman the problem and she suggested using a new litter called Cat Attract. It is a specially formulated litter for cats with litter tray issues. It has in it an herb that attracts the cat, hence the name. The stuff is fantastic. Within minutes of filling a tray Kyla was in and using it. We have not looked back since. Admittedly it is only three days now. But she was inappropriately urinating on daily basis before. Today being one of my days off I decided to really put things to the test. My bedroom door was left open all day. Both cats were allowed to come and go as they pleased. And whilst I’ve been scooping litter trays all days, everywhere else has remained pee free.
This is such a big deal for us. For the first time in years both cats will be allowed total free rain of the house. We don’t have a big house so the more rooms open to them the better. Kyla will be able to get away from young Kidd when she needs to and the boy himself will be able to let off some steam by running from room to room at full speed no doubt. What destruction he will know be able to cause as he plays unsupervised through out our humble abode remains to be seen.

2006-04-05T12:14:00.000+01:00

How to help with the housework

by Kyla and Kidd

Kyla - The first and most important part of helping with the housework is to get your human out of bed.
Kidd – I prefer the constant pestering method. This consists of being a total pain. A gentle sniffing is always a good start followed by an occasional head but. Sitting on your human’s head whilst purring loudly in their ear is another good idea. If neither work you can follow it up with a nice wash. Not forgetting to pay particular attention to the ears. Human ears are very small and positioned far too low on their heads, no wonder they have such poor hearing! Any way I digress.
If this still doesn’t work then you have two options. You can try the clawing method. The sharper the claws the better, a well-positioned claw up the nose is always effective. Or you can go for a little stinker in the closest litter tray. Obviously this takes a bit of forethought on your part, as you will need to have been brewing it over night.
Kyla – Oh for goodness sake that takes far too long. No you want to go for the more direct approach. It’s simple and effective. Just soak the bed. Knock over the glass of water they left on the bedside cabinet, making sure to get as much of the bed wet as possible.
Kidd – But what if there is no liquid by the bed? You only have to do that a couple of times and they’ll learn not to leave it there.
Kyla – In that case you’ll just have to improvise won’t you!
Kidd – Er ok. Well anyway now that your human is up and you’ve helped them get washed and dressed the fun really starts.
Kyla – Of course if you have gone for the soaking of the bed you have already started the cleaning process.
Kidd – Yes but there is the general tidying. It is vital that you are present for this. You don’t want them to throw away something important. So you need to insist on inspecting everything. If they pick something up then pull it down to your level and give it a good sniff. It they won’t allow you to look then just climb they’re leg until you can see.
Kyla – Sometimes they decide that the object you so lovingly placed on the floor belongs on a shelf. This is basically inconsiderate and they must learn where things go. Do this by climbing said shelf and knocking the item back onto the floor. When they turn around to see what happened look innocent and blame it on the kitten.
Kidd – Hay!
Kyla – It is also important that you check the bin on a regular basis. Pull out anything that looks slightly interesting.
Kidd – By this point your human will probably decide it’s time for a lunch break. You can also help with this. Again climb up their leg and make helpful lunch suggestions by trying to pat things in the fridge.
Kyla – Or jump onto their shoulders and shout instructions in their ear.
Kidd – Once lunch is over and you’ve cleaned the plate for them. It’s time to get on with the actually cleaning of the house. Chase the duster is a great game to play and keeps your human interested in the task. Another great game is attack the broom. Hide under something and pounce when ready. It is imperative that you are not seen when waiting to attack. After all you do not want to the broom to see you coming.
Kyla – while this is going on the more discerning cat is off to raid the treat cupboard, which has inadvertently been left open. The box of goodies may be on the top shelf, but that should not stop you. Use whatever method you can to claim what is rightfully yours. If you get caught, abseil back down the coats you’ve just climbed telling your human in no uncertain terms how unimpressed you are with them.
Kidd – Yes but while your human is off dealing with the treat stealer you are left to play with the pile of fluff left from the sweeping. Always make sure to spread as much of this around the floor as possible so that you can play the broom game again when they get back.
Kyla – Once all the cleaning is done, it is time to make the bed. This is my favourite part. When they place the bottom sheet on the bed and start to tuck it in. Skid up and down the bed making sure it is as flat as possible and that the corners are folded to your liking. Once the bed is made pretend to ‘improvise’ soaking it again. Your human will think this is very funny!!!!!
Kidd – Once everything is clean and tidy there is just one last thing to do. When your human has washed the floor and has gone for a well-deserved rest, visit the litter tray once more. Making sure your paws are as dirty as possible and make a curtsey call to all rooms, especially ones with the floor still damp, to inspect your work. Finally curl up with your human making sure to look as cute as possible, look up at them and slowly blink and reach out a paw to tap them gently on the cheek. It is always important to complement good behaviour.